Here are 5 useless facts bout Kanye West, who, as you all know, has a new album out called Yeezus.
1) Kanye West does not know how to spell Jesus. Ay, Ay, Ay!
2) His VEVO hits for his video Black Skinhead on YouTube stands at 3, 365, 862. (That’s almost as many hits as I get on my blogs. Per day. What? Like it’s hard.)
3) Yeezuz is naked at times in the video and he’s got biceps and abs. That I can confirm. As for the rest of him, I tried really hard to see his lady lumps, but I didn’t get to. (I have booked an appointment with my optician since. Him, his avatar – same thing. )
4) In his video, he’s still using the ‘n’ word and showing KKK with black hoodie’s. (Someone’s gonna get into big shit with Oprah for using the ‘n’ word.)
5) According to Ray J, Yeezus didn’t hit it first, Ray J did. (According to a reliable source that I cannot name, (Taylor Swift) Ray J didn’t hit it first either, he just thinks he did.)
6) Yeezus lets Kim sleep while he tends to baby North at night. He sings her lullabies. (I can just imagine the lyrics to his lullabies– yo bitches, yo asses, yo homies, shut the fuck up and sleep ’for I bust a cap in yo ass!)
7) He has directed several short films. (That is amazing. I had no idea that he did. Not clear if they were pornos, but if they were, it shouldn’t matter.)
That’s seven facts, I know, but I’m feelin’ generous.
Do I like the album Yeezus, you ask?
For two reasons:
a) Yeezus, even though he’s such an egotistical sob, is talented. I really like Black Skinhead. The song, not the people.
b) Yeezus can out-scream Eminem anytime. I listened to both of them twice, took careful note and Yeezus won. So there.
c) When the world crapped on him for calling himself a god, he responded with, “Fuk ya’ll.” But he left out the ‘c.’ If that’s not cool, then I dunno what is.
Yeah, I said two reasons, but I’m giving you three reasons cos I’m feeling generous.
Now I wonder if Yeezus (or God) would be interested in buying my yooks? Eh, books.
If both of them buy a copy each, I’ll give them 50 % off, even if they don’t have a coupon.
Thank you to http://www.areadersreviewblog.com, the lovely Caroline and Tina, who are always so polite, friendly and gracious for nominating me for the Liebster award where I collect $1million just for being nominated. (Sincere apologies for the delay, but I was busy celebrating my birthday.)
Here are the answers to the questions and some info about me.
Q: What inspired you to begin a blog?
A: I became an author and it was a way to reach my millions of fans. Okay fine, my five fans.
Q: What is your favorite book genre?
A: Kick-ass heroines, who also cry easily, like chocolate more than celery sticks, aren’t afraid to use the ‘F’ word and hate housework. Is that a genre? Well, it should be!
Q: What is your favorite place in the world?
A: My hometown, Cape Town, South Africa, where you find the bluest of skies, beaches with crystal waters and the whitest of sands. Oh, and amazing wineries. (Getting tearful thinking about it. Cape Town, that is, not the wineries. Well the wineries too.)
Q: If you could be an animal, which animal would you be?
A: A cat of course. They do absolutely nothing but subtly remind us that Egyptians used to once worship them. Sometimes not so subtly.
Q: What animal scares you the most?
Q: Spiders. Whachu mean it isn’t an animal? It should be. Walking into its web can bring out some amazing karate chops from you even though you’ve never done martial arts before.
Q: Which musical instrument would you like to play?
Q: Drums. But I would be mindful of the noise, so I would only play it when everyone is asleep.
Q: Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings?
A: Oh, that’s easy – Lord of the Rings. So loved Jason Momoa in it. Whachu mean he didn’t act in it? He should have. He’s groovy baby.
Q: Who is your favorite author?
A: Eve Rabi. What an author. I just love her work. She is amazing. She makes me laugh so hard, tears run down my legs. Whachu mean I can’t nominate myself?
Q: What is your favorite meal?
A: a chocolate hamburger. Whaaaaat? Like it’s a bad thing.
Q: If you could be in a TV / film comedy character of your choice, who would you be?
A: Someone from the Simpsons. They are all funny and unrestrained. Love that about the show.
Q: If you were to write a book, what genre would it be?
A: Kick-ass heroines, who also cry easily, like chocolate more than celery sticks, aren’t afraid to use the ‘F’ word and absolutely hate housework. Is that a genre? Well, it should be! (But I have already published 17 books.)
ELEVEN FACTS ABOUT ME
- I’m into music in a huge way. Got over twelve thousand songs on my iPhone all downloaded illegally, so please …shhhh! My taste in music varies – it’s the song, not the genre.
- I sucked at math and still do. Can’t count for shit, so luckily I have fingers and toes that come to the rescue.
- I like my men tall, dark, sweet and strong, like my coffee. Doesn’t matter if they’re thick as wood, they must just shaddup and flex those muscles on demand. Disrespectful? Me? Lemme think…yeah, you’re right 🙂
- Love Chelsea Handler, Sandra Bullock, Betty white, Joan Rivers and Sasha Baron Cohen.
- Used to be a registered nurse many moons ago, so I am nurturing by nature, a softie. I used to cry when patients died. It was embarrassing to be in full uniform and have tears running down your cheeks. All the medical staff used to laugh at me behind my back. And sometimes in front of my back too. They only stopped when I threatened to roofie them and take photos.
- Also owned and ran a glossy magazine on Sydney’s North Shore where I wrote articles for the mag among other things. I got lots of fan mail so I decided to write a book. I ignored the death threats.
- I have two lovely daughters, Raine and Skye, a dog who failed obedience school (A Pomeranian called little Bow Wow) and a cat who eats all the time.
- I am currently dating all the men in my books cos I like them all. Whaaat?! Like it’s a bad thing.
- I live in Sydney Australia and am a full-time writer. I’m about to publish my 18th book. When I was growing up, I was an avaricious reader, Sydney Sheldon John Grisham, Harold Robbins. Valley of the Dolls was my best book ever. If I had to choose between a hot guy and a hot book, the book would win. Monday to Thursday, that is.
- Obsessed With Me, is my biggest seller at the moment. It has outsold Gringa in the first 5 days of being published and danced in Amazon’s top 100! I am absolutely thrilled with the results and I now sit by my phone waiting for Spielberg to call. Or Tarrantino, I’m not fussy. I wanted to thank the book Gods for smiling down on me and like, wanted to sacrifice my firstborn, but she flat refused to get me a kitchen knife and lie on the table. So …
- Never say “Can’t be done” to me. I will prove you wrong. (Except when my nail polish is wet, then you got me.)
- I’m an ex make-up artist and a fashion whore. (Yes, you can call me whore when you use the word fashion next to it. Okay, fine, you can call me whore anytime. Happy now?
And that, folks is my ABC. Well some of it anyway.
Okay, so can I have my $1 million dollar in $5 notes please?
Regret, Sorry, I dont accept IOUs