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Facebook, you son of a Beeaarch!

 

Locked out of Facebook, blog 15 Aug 18So, I get a message from Facebook stating that my account is temporarily locked because of “phishing.”

Ph … ishing: the fraudulent practice of sending emails purporting to be from reputable companies in order to induce individuals to reveal personal information, such as passwords and credit card numbers.

The moment the phishing started, Facebook was quick to react. They rose to the occasion and handled the problem by … locking me out of my account.
That’s right, the motherphuckers won’t let me log onto my account.
Maybe it’s my karma – I was laughing my head off when Ashley Madison was hacked.
(What? Like you didn’t laugh?)

So, it’s been a month since the motherphuckers locked me out. Even though I pray every night to the Facebook gods to open the pearly gates of Facebook and allow me to enter, my fervent prayers are in vain – I am still locked out of Hell. Eh, Facebook.

So, if you have messaged me or commented on any of my posts in the last month, I’m not ignoring you, I just don’t have access to my account right now.

Of course, being the social creature that I am (aren’t I?), I feel terribly isolated and excluded from the social sandpit, so all I can do is sit in isolation, eat chocolate and contemplate starting my own Facebook. When I’m not writing, of course.
Talking about writing – okay, for those of you who are waiting patiently, and not so patiently for the next instalment of Scarlett’s antics, hang in there – I’m busy with it. I will be revealing the cover in a couple of days, so standby.
Eve 🙂

Wordpress Gringa Banner 15 Aug 18.jpgTo download this FREE book, click on the image.

 

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My Wife’s Li’l Secret – Release Date

banner my wife's blog believed past tense

Release date:

18 November 2014

Do good guys really finish last?

A thrilling read about an errant wife, a husband determined to find answers and a web of lies and deceit.

Reviews:

“Wow I was totally entranced with this book from the beginning!” 

“Wish I could award this 10 out of 5 STARS!!”

“All in all I loved this book, it made me laugh, cry, hold my breath till I went blue, smile and finally caused my heart to break for Ritchie!”

“Very gripping story line! But keep the tissues handy.”

“Twists that will blow your mind and make you think about this book long after you finish it.”

Release date: 18 November 2014!

Friend Eve Rabi on Facebook for updates.

https://www.facebook.com/eve.rabi

Finally! Free on amazon.com to Aussie Readers!

banner.4. you will pay resized to larger testimonials

At last, Aussie readers can get You Will Pay free on amazon.com.

Here is the link, go grab your copy of a book that’s been downloaded more than 120 000 times!

The sequel is brewing nicely and yes, Tom is still a bastard!

http://www.amazon.com/You-Will-Pay-For-Leaving-ebook/dp/B00CPSGLEE

Revenge is a Dish Best Served with a Chilled Glass of Chardonnay.

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I wrote You Will Pay – For Leaving Me, because I wanted to gift something to my readers.

Something empowering and uplifting, and to round it up, I threw in some juicy revenge.

So I didn’t charge for the book. However, I notice that in some countries like Australia and Spain, amazon.com charges for the book.  Bastards!

However, it’s still free on smashwords.com and ITunes, so go grab your copy there before they start getting ideas and start charging for it.

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/314174

Anyho, from the feedback I received from my readers, You Will Pay may just be my best novel to date.

Since I’m constantly being asked about a sequel to You Will Pay, I’ve decided to write not a sequel, but rather a spin off. So…drum roll please … it’s coming January 15, 2014.

It’s about revenge and Arena and Bear are actively involved in the story.

Here’s some feedback from my readers on You Will Pay I thought I’d share with you:

“I’m in a similar situation to Arena, so I am getting myself a storage locker.” (Imagine that?)

“This book gives me hope. I have left an abusive relationship and didn’t think I would find happiness again. But now I think maybe there’s a chance.” (This brought tears to my eyes.)

“Is this your story?” (Nope. As I said before, if a man ever lays a hand on me, I will probably Lorena Bobbitt him. Or Tonya Harding him. Trust me.)

“So glad there is a sequel coming.” (Eh, not sequel as such…)

“Brilliant story, Eve, I couldn’t put it down.” (Why, thank you so much. Please come again.)

“I’m so upset because I spilled pumpkin soup over my laptop now I can’t read it.” (This would never have happened had you chose beef soup. Pumpkins are for Halloween, girl. Trust me.)

“I’m leaving my husband soon. This is my life story.” (I wish you all the very best. You have taken the first step towards leaving the lying, cheating, motherfucking SON OF A BITCH!)

Sorry, I got carried away there. And I’m assuming he’s also a liar and a cheat and his mother is in not a very nice person.

There’s more, but I will not bore you. Any more.

Please note: these are not reviews. They are some of the private emails I received.

Taking about reviews…the nicest review I had was from a lovely reader of mine who I’ve become good friends with. She’s really pretty, sweet and appreciative, always generous with her feedback and praise. Which is great. We authors need to know how we’re doing.

Here’s what she said:
In my last review I mentioned that Eve Rabi rated in the top 5 on my list of authors. Well, she is now in the top 3. I am hooked – truly hooked!!”

Nice, huh?

Now, all I have to do is find those other two writers in her top 3 and take them out one-by-one, then I will be her bestest author.

Execute them mafia style and blame the poor Goodreads trolls. My peeps are already hacking into my lovely reader’s computer as we speak. Well, not speak, speak, but …

Anyho, keep your eyes peeled for Rich, Olga, Ashley, Kevin, Bear and Arena.

Oh, and let’s not forget Tom, who was most impressed with Pamela and Tommy Lee’s video, remember?

Allow me to refresh your memory:

“That video of Pamela Anderson giving Tommy Lee a blow job – he forced me watch it with him.

“I want that,” he said, pausing the video at a certain point and pointing to Pam. “See that look in her eyes? See that? I want that. That babe, she likes it. She wants it. She’s begging for it. See? See? I want that, you hear? You better shape up, cos I expect that.”

“Basic Instinct, 9 ½ Weeks—that what we should be having.  You have to sweat, Arena. If you don’t sweat during sex, you might as well be …fucking your wife.”

Everything he said didn’t always make sense, but I never questioned him about anything.  I didn’t care to; I just wanted it to be over. And …never once did I sweat during sex. Not even a slight slick over my body. I hated sex.

End of excerpt

Rings a bell?

I have to go now, cos my hackers have found some IP addresses for me. It’s my first experiencing with hacking, so I’m quite excited. If this works, me and my peeps, we are going for Oprah’s bank account then JK Rowling’s. Wish me luck.

I wanna be a trillionaire so frigging baaaaad! I wanna be on the cover of Forbes magazine, smiling next to Oprah, the queen and Bruno Mars.

  

 

WHAT IS A BLACK SKINHEAD KANYE?

 

Here are 5 useless facts bout Kanye West, who, as you all know, has a new album out called Yeezus.

1)      Kanye West does not know how to spell Jesus. Ay, Ay, Ay!

2)      His VEVO hits for his video Black Skinhead on YouTube stands at  3, 365, 862. (That’s almost as many hits as I get on my blogs. Per day. What? Like it’s hard.)

3)      Yeezuz is naked at times in the video and he’s got biceps and abs. That I can confirm. As for the rest of him, I tried really hard to see his lady lumps, but I didn’t get to. (I have booked an appointment with my optician since. Him, his avatar – same thing. )

4)      In his video, he’s still using the ‘n’ word and showing KKK with black hoodie’s. (Someone’s gonna get into big shit with Oprah for using the ‘n’ word.)

5)      According to Ray J, Yeezus didn’t hit it first, Ray J did. (According to a reliable source that I cannot name, (Taylor Swift) Ray J didn’t hit it first either, he just thinks he did.)

6)      Yeezus lets Kim sleep while he tends to baby North at night. He sings her lullabies. (I can just imagine the lyrics to his lullabies– yo bitches, yo asses, yo homies, shut the fuck up and sleep ’for I bust a cap in yo ass!)

7)      He has directed several short films. (That is amazing. I had no idea that he did. Not clear if they were pornos, but if they were, it shouldn’t matter.)

That’s seven facts, I know, but I’m feelin’ generous.

Do I like the album Yeezus, you ask?

Yes.

For two reasons:

a)     Yeezus, even though he’s such an egotistical sob, is talented. I really like Black Skinhead. The song, not the people.

b)    Yeezus can out-scream Eminem anytime. I listened to both of them twice, took careful note  and Yeezus won. So there.

c) When the world crapped on him for calling himself a god, he responded with, “Fuk ya’ll.” But he left out the ‘c.’ If that’s not cool, then I dunno what is.

Yeah, I said two reasons, but I’m giving you three reasons cos I’m feeling generous.

Now I wonder if Yeezus (or God) would be interested in buying my yooks? Eh, books.

If both of them buy a copy each, I’ll give them 50 % off, even if they don’t have a coupon.

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http://www.amazon.com/THE-CHEAT-Infidelity-Compete-ebook/dp/B00D1WH9I0

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