A LAPTOP FOR $20.00 AND A SHORT INTENTION SPAN. (Will only make sense if you’ve read Gringa or if you’ve been partying for more than a week with Robert Downey Junior)
SHE’S GOT A SHORT INTENTION SPAN.
Interview With Rosa (58) and Maria (61) on Life In the US:
Maria: “Life is really good, I cannot complain. I now get a cell phone so I can talk with my granddaughter, Isabella. You know her? She very pretty and she very smart too. She marry Troy, the boy with the baseball cap hat? He don’t drugs no more. He good boy now.”
Interviewer: “Yes, I do know Isabella. In fact, I’ve met her. She is indeed pretty and smart.”
Rosa: “I have a no family for myself, Senor, but I have a cousin Sylvia. She have a lot of girls working for her. And she geta lotta visitors for the girls. She very rich – she got iPhone, she got gym membership and she got …?”
Maria: “This is America – everybody here got iPhone and gym membership. That does not mean your cousin Sylvia is rich. Now if you got laptop, then you are rich.”
Rosa: “What?! Laptop is cheap, Maria. I hear you go Vegas you get laptop for $20.00.”
Maria: (Swivels to look at Rosa.) “That true? Then you and I must go Vegas and we get our own laptops for $20.00.”
Rosa: “Is a very good idea. Now Gringa, she got a laptop. But when she work on Spacebook, Diablo, eh, Diago, he watch over her shoulder.
Maria: ”Yah, yah, he dodat. Then Gringa say, “Diago, what the hell? Why are you looking over my shoulder? Then he say, ‘Who is all these people photos you look at?’ Then she say, ‘They added me as a friend, Diago.’ Then Diago say, ‘They know you are married?’ Gringa say, ‘Of course, they do, Diago. Do you want to look at my status?’ And Diago, he shake his head and say, ‘I see your status tonight in the bedroom. Now, I want to talk about this. Where is wedding picture of you and me? Why is it not there?’ Gringa roll her eyes and say, ‘Diago, please!’ And he say, ‘You put picture of me and you or I break the laptop.’ Gringa say, ‘What the fuck, Diago? You threatening me?’ He thinka bout it and say, ‘Si.’ Gringa roll her eyes and go to find wedding picture.”
Rosa: “Diago, he very scared of losing Gringa, I think. What is the English word …?”
Maria: “Insincere. He very insincere.”
Rosa: “That’s it. Diago very insincere. Maria your English is very good now, eh?”
Maria: (Beams) “What can I say? I am very smart. Just like Isabella, even though I don’t go to college. Even though I don’t finish school.
Maria: “Very soon I want to help Eve Rabi with her editing. She say she hate editing, so I say, ‘Let me helpa you, Eve.’ She say, ‘Oh, Maria, if you could do that, I would be so grateful. If I had a fairy godmother, Maria, I would get her to do all my editing and my housework, of course. I can get myself to the ball.’ She laugh when she say it. But I don’t laugh. She is lazy, that Eve Rabi.”
Rosa: “Yah, I hear she like to write better than to clean her house.”
Rosa: “Very disgraceful. She let her cat sleep on her laptop? That is terrible. Hey, Maria, I must learn English like you.”
Maria: “Yes, but you got a short intention span. That is your problem.”
Rosa: “Maybe you right. My intention span is very short.” (Sighs)
To read more about the whackos from Gringa – In the Clutches of a Ruthless Drug Lord, please
click on link below:
To read the entire Gringa series, please click on link below: